Michelle's Mindworks

I stared at the story outline on my wall. Thirty minutes passed. I kept staring. Every idea felt out of focus and awkward. What the hell was wrong with me? It shouldn’t be this hard.

I’m writing my first novel, but it isn’t my first novel length work. By fourteen years old, I was writing (very bad and very cringe) fan fiction. By high school, I was writing decent-ish short stories. By college, I’d turned to screenwriting and filmmaking.

I told myself I’d do homework in the space between classes. Instead, I hyper-focused on passion projects. Senior year, my passion project of choice was a novel-length fan fiction.

If someone told me it’d take two years and 137K words to complete, I wouldn’t have had the courage to publish it. That’s a lot of time and a lot of words and twenty-two year old me wasn’t sure about her ability to persist.

After writing four chapters, I decided to post the story to Archive of Our Own. I couldn’t resist writing the thing, so I might as well share it. If I didn’t complete the work I might disappoint a handful of readers, but it wasn’t like I’d sold them anything.

When the college deadlines died and the hyper-focus waned, I muscled through writing it. I needed to finish the thing. I needed cold, hard proof that I could finish a long term writing project without a college deadline, because there were no more college deadlines.

Besides, I was having fun. People who, like me, were way too passionate about this fandom and these characters were leaving comment after comment. We discussed symbolism in the original work and my own. They expressed how much they loved my characterization, my original characters, and the alterations I made to the universe. How could I leave them, and myself, hanging?

I took hiatuses to complete other projects. I wrote and produced a short film adaptation of Bartleby, the Scrivener. I completed several drafts of my original TV Pilot, Uncanny. I redesigned my website, started a blog, and started several other writing projects.

And in December of 2023, I finished my first, long form fan fiction. The milestone filled me with hope and pride. If I could write a 137K word fan fiction, I could write a novel half that size in half the time.

Except here I was staring at my wall.

“Flying used to be fun until I started doing it for a living.”

Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

Play

Writing fan fiction had felt easier, because I’d let myself have fun with it. The characters were borrowed dolls and plot was simply the vehicle I used to play with them.

Now, I was hung up on the seriousness of writing an original manuscript. I plan to self publish, but I’m haunted by the possibility of no one but my closest friends and family buying the book. The fact that these people know me personally somehow makes it worse. Logically, I know these concerns have no place in a first draft, but it’s a subconscious fear I can’t shake.

A silly little thought dropped into my head: I could pretend I was writing fan fiction. The world I’d crafted could be their alternative universe. Forget plot. Forget whether or not this thing I was writing was “good.” This was all about the struggles I wanted to explore.

Swapping the names of my original characters for those of a different fandom, I wrote a quick summary of my novel. I let go of the desire to write a good story and let myself play.

For some reason, it worked. I wasn’t subconsciously stressing about the ifs and whens of my career. I was too preoccupied trying to squeeze original characters and fandom characters into the same head. Suddenly, it became crystal clear that my protagonist needed someone to bounce off of in their first scene and wouldn’t it be fun if that someone was their best friend?

If you find yourself in a writing slump, find a way to bring an element of play into your work. Lay back, relax, and daydream about your story. Try viewing it through a different lens, putting your characters in a music video, or making a playlist based on the story you’re telling. (I like to listen to my project’s musical mood board when I need inspiration.)

Stuck? Answer these questions:

• What do I do for fun? What are some of my hobbies? (Fanfiction is my bread and butter. Yours might be improv, tabletop RPGs, open-world video games, acting, movies, etc.)
• How can I incorporate these hobbies into my writing? (Don’t be afraid to play with your characters like they’re dolls. Or treat them like actors. Or throw them into a random situation to see how they’ll act.)
• Why do I want to write this story? What themes, tropes, character archetypes, or interpersonal relationships do I wanna explore?
• What’s stopping me from writing the story? Is it a mental barrier? A narrative barrier?
• Would switching up my writing strategy help? (Try writing your scenes out of order, writing during a different time of day, or incorporating a walk or boring break into your routine.)

Points System and Competition

At the beginning of my current project, I found myself editing and re-editing the same 600 words for a week. I’d chant “All a first draft has to do is exist” in my head, then rewrite the same 600 words.

So I did what every coffee shop does to convince you to download their app: I implemented a points system.

In my notebook, I’d record the word count I started the day with, the word count I ended with, and how many words I’d written that day. I honestly didn’t have a reward aside from “I feel accomplished because I met my word goal!” But it introduced a bit of self-competition. It was satisfying to beat the score from the previous day.

Plus, every 10,000 words I write or plot milestone I hit feels like I’m leveling up. To emphasize this I drew a percentage bar on top of the plot outline that currently lives on my dry erase wall. Every major plot milestone I reach, I color the bar in to that milestone.

Word count isn’t everything, of course. There are some days I come to a scene I wrote ahead of the plot outline. I rewrite the scene to fit the story I have at the moment, which means my progress isn’t always reflected in the number. I like to put a star in my succeed/fail column with this happens.

It helps to have a time based goal along with your word count goal. My goal is to write two to three hours every day. I schedule these writing sessions in my calendar and gray them out when I accomplish them.

Give yourself three hours. Can you score 1,000 points? Can you write 1,000 words? If not, can you beat yesterday’s score?

No? Well, did you, at the very least, work on the project for two to three hours? Congrats! You chipped away at your goal! Let yourself feel satisfied. Very few authors are the flavor of insane capable of writing an entire first draft in a single day.

Connection and Accountability

Any fanfic author can tell you the joy of receiving kudos and comments. When you spend hours alone obsessing over a fandom, it’s easy to feel like alone. Then others join in on your obsession and propel you forward.

You don’t always have outside encouragement when you write a novel. But what if you could?

I didn’t want anyone to see my work before it went through at least a draft, but my girlfriend claimed she couldn’t wait to read my first chapter. She had to suggest this multiple times before I printed it out and handed her a red pen. (She was very excited about the red pen.)

She understood this was a first draft and therefore she couldn’t expect my best work. (Or proper spelling/grammar.) She agreed she wouldn’t hold back on the criticism. And I made her promise to tell me if she didn’t want to read new chapters anymore. I wouldn’t be offended. In fact, it would be helpful to know where she lost interest so I could figure out how to fix it.

Find someone to share your shit with and/or keep you accountable. This might be hard for the more introverted writers like myself, but all writers are a little bit insane and we need people to bounce our insanity off of.

You don’t have to share your first draft with this magical person, but you should talk about your progress or, even better, your story. Think of it as practice for when people ask what your book is about. (I still respond with uhhhhh whenever someone asks me what my book is about. I really should memorize the summary I spent several hours writing.)

If it helps, buy accountability buddy a bag of candy to give you only when you complete a goal. (Until you realize she hid the candy in her desk drawer and you start sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to sneak a piece or ten. Yes, I am projecting. No, I don’t have self restraint when it comes to smarties. Yes, she did eventually catch me, but I bought the candy so what was she gonna do about it? Demand I replace it the bag? She doesn’t even like smarties!)

If you can find a writer who’s also looking for encouragement, even better! Trade manuscripts, then plan a coffee meet up to talk about it.

Streaks

There’s a reason Snapchat, Duolingo, and a plethora of other apps encourage you to do X daily to maintain your streak. (Did anyone else have to babysit their friend’s Snapchat streak in high school?)

So let’s streak-ify your writing goal!

I have a notebook page dedicated to putting star stickers on the days I meditate and work on my current project. (I also keep track in my calendar and time logging app, so if I don’t touch my notebook for a day or two, I can easily catch up on the streaks.)

Deadlines

I know what you’re thinking. “Deadlines aren’t fun, they’re stressful! Don’t make me feel like I’m writing an essay for school.”

Look, sometimes you need a ticking clock to take your mind off of your crippling doubts. The tortured artist trope might have some merit to it, because the hardest part about writing is wrestling your inner self. (Again, I might be projecting. I’ve never actually been inside anyone else’s head.)

Besides, we’re focusing on your first draft. You’ll pass as long as you turn it in on time. And since you’re your own professor, you can push the deadline back as often as you’d like!

“But Michelle, if the deadline isn’t a deadline, then what’s the point?”

Because you’re still gonna feel a little disappointed when you push your deadline back. But (hopefully) you’ll avoid feeling completely discouraged.

Chunk your project into short term goals. It’s easier to visualize your first act being due in three weeks than to visualize your first draft due in twelve.

If You Can’t Do It, Create An Alter Ego Who Can!

I’m borrowing and warping this strategy from Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris, Jeffrey Warren, Carlye Adler. They discuss personifying that often negative little voice in your head. Some people call it their ego, the asshole in their head, their child self, or even their monkey brain. Give the little voice a name if you’d like!

The strategy might feel weird at first, but I promise I won’t tell anyone that you’re giving it a shot.

It’s often easier to talk down to yourself than it is to a friend. When you view your ego as separate from yourself, it’s easier to comfort it like you would an uncertain child or say “Hey, you’re being a bit of an asshole right now. I know you’re trying to protect me in your own way, but we’ll feel better in the long run if we push forward.”

On the flip side, you can create an alter ego that is capable of of doing the shit that scares the shit out of you. Give your character a name, adopt their posture, and attack the work like they would. Give them permission to be a badass who doesn’t care what other people think. Let them do the hard things for you.

Go On! Use Gamification To Fight Writer’s Block!

Brainstorm how you can incorporate play into your writing via the hobbies you love. Take a note from how apps keep you coming back for more by incorporating a point system, streaks, rewards, and a bit of self competition. Connect with people who can hold you accountable and create bite-sized deadlines for yourself. And if all else fails, create an alter ego to manage your negative self talk and overcome mental barriers.

What strategies do you find helpful for overcoming writer’s block? Share them with us in the comment section! (Also, how do you address yourself when you’re talking to yourself? I tend to say “we” in my head. Most of my friends think I’m weird.)